The life of an entrepreneur is nothing if not a constant struggle. That isn't necessarily a bad thing, depending on your perspective, but all the optimism in the world doesn't make it any less true.
There will be days when you think the entire world is against you — like the odds are decidedly not in your favor, and absolutely nothing you do lands the way you thought it would. Many people find that bringing on a cofounder is a way to relieve this type of stress — that at least the entire weight of their company won't be exclusively on their shoulders. But this, too, comes with its fair share of obstacles that you must be aware of moving forward.
Almost by design, an entrepreneur is someone with an incredibly strong will — a person with a crystal-clear vision of what the future looks like and who is willing to do anything and everything to make that a reality. Rarely will your cofounder share that vision 100% — meaning there are times when you will get into arguments to see who comes out on top.
This is a natural part of starting a business with someone else, but it's also one of the more difficult aspects. You will argue and fight and shout, but, in theory, your company will come out all the better for it. At the very least, you know that no matter how bad things get, you still get to go home separately at the end of the day for a bit of peace and quiet... right?
Well, if you've started a business with any old cofounder, sure. If you've started a business and your cofounder also happens to be your significant other, that's a different story.
Starting a business with a spouse or romantic partner certainly isn't unheard of, but it's also not a decision that you'll want to make lightly. Again, no matter how much you love one another, you will run into conflict. That's not something you can control.
The only thing you do have total control of, however, is what happens after that point.
For proof that starting a business with your significant other can pay off in the long run, look no further than Judd Apatow and Leslie Mann. The former is the writer and director of some of the most successful comedy films in recent memory, and the latter is often front and center as one of the lead actresses in those same movies. Though the two don't share the same last name, they happen to be husband and wife — and have been happily married for decades.
Yes, it's true that the Hollywood version of running a business together is different from founding a traditional startup, but Apatow and Mann are business partners all the same. Much like most spouses turned co-entrepreneurs, they admittedly argue all the time. They fight. They get mad at one another.
But they haven't let it interrupt their success.
In fact, Apatow has admitted that many of the best scenes in his movies — and even the entire premise of the film This Is 40 — have come directly from real-life arguments he and Mann have had over the years.
Because if nothing else, they acknowledge that their arguments are born out of a genuine passion for the work the two are doing together. They fight because they both believe beyond the shadow of a doubt that they know the best decisions to make at any given time.
The compromises that they then make to meet one another in the middle are where some of the best cinematic husband and wife arguments of the last 25 years have been born.
They're brutal, honest and hilarious in equal measure — and none of them would have been possible had Apatow and Mann not: a) been willing to put it all on the table and b) believed in each other more than anything else.
If these two are able to successfully partner in a way that will also be essentially scrutinized by the entire world once the eventual movie comes out and maintain a totally healthy and successful marriage at the same time, you can absolutely do it, too.
By far, the most important thing you can do to make sure that you and your significant other can found, not only a business, but a successful business, involves making sure that you're both equally excited about that vision that you're working so hard to make a reality.
Again — you're going to fight with one another. You'll argue more than you realize going into this affair. You're going to get mad at one another. But as long as all of that passion is ultimately in service of the same shared goal — that thing you both believe in more than almost anything else — you'll be able to get through absolutely anything.
However, if you don't totally commit to the same idea going into the founding of your startup, your efforts may very well be over before they've truly had a chance to begin.
Another thing that you'll want to do sooner rather than later is to figure out which division of labor works for both you and your significant other and stick to it as often as you can. If you both try to have your hand in every last activity involved with running a business, you'll only end up second-guessing one another. It's rare that any one person is good at literally every aspect of being an entrepreneur anyway – which is why you're supposed to quickly surround yourself with people who can fill in the gaps in those skills that you possess.
In this case, that other person just happens to be your significant other.
Figure out what you're good at and stick to those tasks. Then, figure out what your partner is good at and have them stick to those tasks. There may be some overlap, but as long as you're crystal clear in your unique roles and objectives, you'll still be able to maintain a critical sense of autonomy, while still working toward the greater good.
Finally, try to create a work/life integration (rather than a work/life balance) as soon as possible after beginning your startup efforts. When your business partner happens to be your significant other, you'll never be able to totally separate your personal life from your professional one. But that's OK — as long as you understand and adapt to this new way of living as you go.
Most people have to find a way to make time for their significant other. In your case, you'll probably be spending twice as much time with them as you normally would. It's not easy, but it can be gratifying — as long as you mentally and emotionally prepare yourself for the fact that your work life and your home life are now one and the same.
Starting a successful business is truly difficult, regardless of whom you choose to do it with. But provided that you keep tips like these in mind, you'll come to appreciate the benefits that come with entering the world of entrepreneurship with your partner in both business and in life.
Martinez & Shanken, PLLC writes for CountingWorks, an accounting news and advice website. Reach the firm at [email protected]
About Martinez & Shanken, PLLC
Martinez & Shanken, PLLC is a Certified Public Accountant (CPA) firm based in Gilbert, Arizona. We provide a full range of accounting, bookkeeping, consulting, outsourcing and business services. Partners Deborah Martinez and Earl Shanken work to ensure your business accounting is done with integrity and to your satisfaction.
